I look at Jacen then...
... and I look at him now and I ask myself, "What happened?!" I had this critically jaundiced baby, who slept 22 hrs/day, and ate every 2 hours at night just 17 months ago, and he grew to a kid who is now holding his own popsicles, sleeps 13 hrs/night, and pinches me when he's angry. Can anyone tell me what happened?! Three years ago I could've sworn I was never gonna get pregnant until I was at least 30, now I've got a toddler...Life throws you curve balls, and they hit ya in the head (most of the time). I don't catch any of them.
Last night when I was tucking Jacen in bed (AKA crib), I was trying to figure out what I'll be doing when he's 5, 10, and 20 years old.
-When he's 5 years old I'll be no where to be found, except in a library somewhere studying.
-When he's 10 years old, I'll still be no where to be found, except in a hospital somewhere, working 100+ hrs/week.
-When he's 20 years old, I'll be home most of the time... but he'll be gone.
After that thought process, it dawned on me: I need to enjoy the time I have with him now, because in just a short few years, I'll be gone, and I won't get to enjoy him being little anymore. But I hope that I can still make the best of the little time I'll have with him as he's growing.
The guilt I feel for going to school is incredibly intense and hovers over me all day, every day. However, I pray that he'll understand that he can do anything he sets his mind to. I pray that he becomes a strong boy who is smart and helpful to everyone around him.
While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about.~Angela Schwindt
... comes a wide variety of feelings in our household. These would include, but are not limited to:
