Christmas week

Because the New Year is approaching, we decided it was time to turn Jacen's crib into a toddler bed. There are two reasons why we just went ahead and did it: 1) our crib was among the 2.1 million cribs that got recalled for having a drop-side, so instead of buying a new crib, we took the side off; and 2) we wanted him to get used to sleeping like that so when we seriously start potty training him at the first of January, he'd be able to get out and use the potty when he felt like it. He loves his new big boy bed!

We took the time this past week to go see the Christmas lights downtown, like we've done the past couple of years. We are going to start a tradition and get our picture taken at this spot every year. We had our picture taken there last year and Jacen seemed so small... It looks like the same picture from last year! Looks like we need to buy new winter jackets :P

After having breakfast and reading the Bible passage of Christ's birth, we opened gifts. He really doesn't look happy in this picture... He was actually really overwhelmed. We didn't know why but as I was talking to a co-worker last night who has a daughter about the same age as Jacen, she pointed out her daughter was also too overwhelmed. Jacen was so overwhelmed he began putting unopened gifts on the kitchen floor. If we would've given him just the stuff from his stocking, he would've been a happy camper.

Just around the time he began freaking out.

Later that morning, we went up the street to Elijah's mom's house and opened more presents there.

And I didn't think I was that good of a girl this year, but apparently I was! I got a Wii for Christmas. I've always thought they were cool and wanted one just "because", but couldn't justify paying $200+ for a video game system. Somehow Elijah saved money all year to buy me this. He also got me the Super Mario Bros. game for the Wii which is awesome! It brings back old memories from when I was a kid and played it on the Nintendo 64. I'm looking forward to getting Wii Fit Plus soon so I can lose some weight, along with Elijah. My goal is to drop about 30 lbs this next year. I hope Elijah and I can both succeed!

Since when?

I just had to blog about this super quick because I really thought it was quite sad.
I blogged a few weeks ago about the true meaning of Christmas and how we really need to think of whose birthday we're celebrating.
Tonight we're going to go to Fashion Place Mall to get a picture of Jacen on Santa's lap, and although Santa is a nice man, he's not the focus of Christmas like SouthTowne Mall thinks he is.
This is what showed on SouthTowne Mall's website when I went to look for Santa's hours:

Really? Since when did Santa Claus become the "Most Essential Man" of the Holidays?
I thought it was Him:

Now, unless I missed something, Christ has done a lot more for us than Santa has.

A couple of years ago, Elijah and I started reading the passage of Christ's birth straight from the Bible, first thing when we wake up on Christmas morning. It has helped us remember the true meaning of Christmas throughout the day, especially when the day revolves so much around presents.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

As I sit here...

... with a massive headache due to the lights (the one that I'm always awarded with when I work in Special Care Nursery), and I'm bored to death, I think of all the wonderful things in my life right now.
Elijah was absolutely AWESOME this semester. I mean, I couldn't have pulled the grades I got if it hadn't been for him supporting me and my studies. We made a pact a few months ago that if I gave him a son and helped raise him, he would extend the same courtesy to me and let me study. It worked out well. Obviously, we had some problems along the way, but they were the usual annoying rocks that come and go as we walk the path of life. He's so good that he knew I didn't have time to enjoy life so he'd help me out by getting fun DVD's to watch, DVR'ing my favorite shows, and he even got me from the library the new Backstreet Boys CD that he for sure hates, but knows it makes me grin from ear to ear :D

Jacen has been a sweet boy for me. He got into trouble, but I'm sure it could've been a lot worse. He stayed in his crib for hours on end without making a peep so I could sleep (one day I accidently overslept and left him in there during his nap for almost 4 hrs!!!!). When I needed to study while he was awake, he'd beg me to read a book for him for just a couple minutes, and if I said "Sorry honey, but I can't read to you right now", he'd sit right next to me on the floor and read to himself. One day he even sat under the dining room table and waited for me to finish. I know, it may seem sad, but it's as if he understood and just did his own thing. That little guy is an angel.

Another wonderful thing in my life is being given an awesome opportunity to work with a geneticist for research. I never thought I was interested in genetics until I did research on bacterial genes. Then I was even more amazed to know my anthropology department chair thinks I have the potential to work with the human genome and do well with it. That's a huge blessing.

 And one more fantastic thing? I can get through anything if I have enough...

...CHOCOLATE!!!!

Proposal anniversary!

Five years ago, today, Elijah proposed to me. I didn't even see it coming. It went something like this:
He had asked me if he could take me out on a nice date, and obviously, I agreed. We went down to Temple Square and he took me up to The Garden (by the way, too expensive and food was average, however, the view was fantastic). We had our dinner, and he looked really nervous, but I didn't think much of it until he told me he wanted to go for a walk around Temple Square. It was snowing, and I was wearing sandals, so I said no. He was still persistent and I kept saying no. Eventually, he got so upset I finally just said, "Fine, you have 5 minutes!"

We walk around for a little bit and because my toes are mostly necrotic and frostbitten from the cold, I announced I wanted to go back to the car, although the five minutes weren't up yet. He then quickly proceeded to get down on one knee while a group of Young Women walking around for their Mutual activity began screaming and shouting, "Oh my gosh!!! He's proposing!!" or "AAAAHHH!!! That's sooooo cute!!!!"

He took my hand, and from then on, I can't remember what he said (either from the shock of being proposed to or hypothermia), but he slipped the ring I had picked out on my left ring finger, and we hurried back to the car.
It was a memorable night.

I can't believe it's been five years. We have been through SO MUCH in the last five years... I mean, they say you're supposed to love and support each other through the bad and the good, and we've done exactly that. We've been through lots of unemployment periods, sickness, a complicated pregnancy, the usual marital problems, and the good, such as a fun and "interesting" honeymoon, cool vacations, finding out we were pregnant when we weren't planning on it and welcoming our handsome baby boy into this world, getting my degree.... If we can make it through all of this, I'm pretty sure we can make it through anything. We've been together for 7 1/2 years now. It's been great!
Elijah's definitely my opposite:

I'm constantly uptight and stressed; he's totally laid back

I'm not great with kids; he's an AWESOME dad

I want to work outside the home; he wants to be a stay at home dad.

We fit perfectly.

Now... what to do for our 5 year anniversary coming up at the beginning of March. He wants to go out of town, but I don't. Any ideas?

Live Nativity

So my neighbor invited us to go see this live nativity program in Draper last night that was absolutely AMAZING. I had never heard of it, but that's because they never advertise and hope it's spread by word of mouth. It's put together by a Stake in Draper every year and it only runs for four nights at the Stake Center off of 12100 South and about 700 West.
Before going, my neighbor told me people drive all the way down from Boise, ID to come see this. And the line is VERY long. She said a few years ago they did an unofficial count and in four nights there was 20,000 people that walked through. It's all done outside, and the volunteers (mind you, they're all church members who do this out of their own time and money) construct the set and do all the costumes, and bring in all the farm animals (which I'll mention more of in a minute).
So Elijah, Jacen and I get there around 7:15pm and we meet up with our neighbors. They have little bon fires to keep people warm, and you go through each point and there's someone doing something, for example: there was someone writing the Bible passage for the account of the birth of Jesus Christ, then another stop with the Three Wise Men, etc... They have all sorts of animals walking by, including sheep, goats, chicken, baby cows, and you can even pet two camels (which, by the way, I was told they were the same camels used for filming Independence Day with Will Smith) then you get to go inside this stable where it's very tight and crowded with the actors doing different things such as building baskets, or cutting up wood, or there was even a beggar. The last room you walkthrough is a room with Mary and Joseph, and a real baby Jesus. That was the most reverent room of them all. The baby was asleep and Jacen points, "Was dat?" They made it look so real, it was fantastic, I mean, even baby Jesus was only wrapped in blankets and had no clothes on.
While I watched baby Jesus in the manger, I got very emotional (although I didn't cry, thank goodness!). I was very touched because the whole Christmas thing isn't about gifts or decorations. I mean, seriously! Since when did Christmas become a time to worry so much about gifts? It's so easy to forget about our Savior during this time, and that makes me really sad. It shouldn't be that way. Christmas should be about remembering the birth of Christ and everything He has done for us. Worrying about gifts and decorations and all the food can come last.
I hope all of us makes a point to remember and keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas this Holiday season. Isn't that what it is all about?!

NOTE: I feel bad I don't have pictures to post but that's because picture taking isn't allowed due to the fact that the flashes could scare the animals.

All the things I'm grateful for...

The tradition of celebrating a day of giving thanks is a new concept to me, introduced only within the last decade. It's interesting to see how ungrateful people can be throughout the year, especially when they have so much. In Brazil, people don't have nearly as many things as we do here (i.e. dishwashers, washers/dryers, bathtubs, etc). I know I've been very ungrateful this year, mostly because of all the other huge problems hovering over us. It's easy to forget to thank our Heavenly Father who sends us abundant blessings each and every day. In light of the Thanksgiving holiday that came and went in the blink of an eye, I wanted to post about a few things that I'm grateful for.
-I'm grateful to have a healthy family who is supportive of me going through this much schooling so one day we can have a better life. You don't usually find that supportive of a husband. Elijah's been sacrificing the little time we have each week together so I can barricade myself in the office doing endless hours of homework and research work. (For info on how my school is doing, click here)
-I'm grateful for having jobs. Jobs are so scarce, especially now that the unemployment rate is 10%+. We've been very blessed to work for stable companies that are flexible enough to schedule us when it works best for us.
-I'm grateful for all the things we own, including, but are not limited to, our house, our (now) functioning cars, all of Bubba's toys, furniture, pantry and fridge full of food, and all of the appliances that are working properly.
-I'm grateful for our parents and friends that help us with babysitting while Elijah and I are either at work or at school. It's HUGE to not have to pay for daycare or to have some strange person watch him.
-I'm grateful for the Gospel in our lives, although we haven't been to church in a while (because of work). It helps to know someone's there listening.
-I'm grateful for our friends and family that are also supportive and are there to help us whenever we need it.

For Thanksgiving this year, we went to Elijah's moms house and had dinner there, along with my mom and my brother James. Jacen went to town on the food. He ate a lot of what was on his plate, which was A LOT... The food and the company were great! The last two years have been quieter because Victor's gone on his mission and our family got smaller. But they've been good because it gives us a chance to really enjoy the holidays without it being chaotic. Then later that night I had to go into work, which was fine. I like spending a part of the holidays with co-workers. They make it fun and entertaining!

On a side note, I wanted to publicly announce I'm retiring my black backpack.

Obviously it doesn't look like this anymore, but it's still not worn out either. For any of you that went to Cottonwood High School with me, I've been using this same backpack since 9th grade. Yes, you read it right: 9TH GRADE. This backpack has survived almost 10 school years. It's been a very dependable, sturdy backpack, which I currently consider to be my lucky charm. It got me through high school graduation, and my associates degree. When I first saw it, my mom almost had a stroke when we found out it cost $60, but it's been a good investment. Thanks, mom!

Now that I'm a big girl and I'm going to the U for good, I'm thinking of switching to either a messenger bag or a more lively version of the black backpack:

What do you think?

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday! Now, on to Christmas... Our favorite holiday of the year!

Bowlin'

After not doing anything as a family for nearly a month, we decided it was time to go out and do something different. I didn't realize how stress was piling on so fast!
On tuesday we took Jacen to The Pizza Factory and to Fat Cats for a round of bowling. He was so happy to eat pizza, first of all. He ate the majority of what was on his plate, and didn't complain one bit. What a good boy! He didn't even make the usual embarrassing mess of food on the floor, which was a nice bonus. I was shocked!
After that we went to the bowling lanes. I don't think we've ever seen Jacen so excited about something. He had his own turns, with the bumpers and the "grandma walker" looking thing that's used for the ball to roll off of. He loved pushing the ball at a whopping 4.5 mph. He'd clap and squeal with happiness. He'd even clap when other people would cheer. Funniest thing ever.
I don't remember the scores, but I know Elijah kicked my hiney by like 50 points, and hmm... Jacen kicked mine as well.
Let's not talk about it.

Halloween 2009

Despite begging Elijah for almost one week to post pictures of Halloween on the blog, he still refused, which left me to post these late.

Halloween was fun for the boys. I had to work the night before and the night of Halloween, so I didn't do anything except for sleep and clean the floors during the day. Also, I've been so busy with school these days that I sort of ran out of time trying to find the perfect Halloween costume for Jacen... I more like forgot to get him a good costume until the day before. *sigh* Elijah and I just figured on saturday morning he'd be the same thing he was last year: a pumpkin. Eighteen month olds don't remember, right? I still felt like a horrible mother.

Elijah took him to Fashion Place Mall to go trick or treating this year, that way he could bypass the monster that comes out of Jacen when exhaustion settles in. It was a good idea except they didn't start until 6pm, and a few angry store employees did not want Elijah to leave without feeling guilty for trick or treating at 4pm. Sheesh!

Jacen didn't know what to do at first, but towards the end he'd just walk into a store, and point to the bucket of candy since he couldn't say "I'm here for some of that, please. According to my parents I'm dressed cute, so please pass the candy over here and get this over and done with". Elijah recorded some of it and it was pretty funny! I wish I had been there :( His favorite was the Honey Teddy Grahams fun packs. He loves those! And I also found out he loves chocolate, just like I do. That made my day!
I hope everyone had a good Halloween!
And happy 50th birthday to my dad :) I love you!

Dance, dance!

I figured everyone would like to see Jacen dancing to Little Einsteins. He even claps with them at the end of the show! It's sooo cute!
Speaking of him... he's a BIG boy. Just had the 18-month well-baby checkup, and he weighs 29.5 lbs and is 35 inches tall. He's on the 98% for his height. It's crazy how much he grew in the last 6 months! We had to buy him a whole bunch of 2T clothes, and he'll be needing 3T PJ's here pretty soon.
He also has become quite the chatterbox! He speaks in his own gibberish, but he'll go on and on, talking with his hands (that's a Mourao trait). He totally thinks we know what he's saying!
We love Jacen so much!

Wow... really?

I was watching the Rachael Ray show this morning, like I regularly do, and this lady was on there, and she loves to bake. In fact, her husband got the whole kitchen remodeled, and with it, they bought a new stove/oven. Because they got a new oven, her baking took off, and she's so obsessed with it that she will go as far as using a hair net when she's baking cupcakes for her daughter's class. Which is fine, I mean, I wouldn't want anyone's hair in my cupcake! So it's all fun and games until she says something along the lines like "I think it's important for a mom to stay at home with her kids and to have the house smelling like baked goods when they come home from school. It's what moms should do"- or something like that.
Wow.
I admire moms who stay at home. Holy cow, if I could mentally and financially handle it, I would. It takes such an enormous amount of patience to stay at home. But staying at home isn't the best fit for every mom.
Then the other day I was talking to someone, and she said what I was doing was unrealistic and that I needed to give up something (she sounded like I needed to give up school more than work, and that I needed to pay more attention to my family). Ok. To a degree that's true, we don't ever go out as a family much anymore, but that's because our schedules are the opposite... well, the point is: I'm not gonna give up my dream of medical school because society tells me staying at home is more important to my family.
For thousands of years women have stayed at home and done the nurturing and taking care of the children, while the men have gone out hunting and now, working. But since women have become such an important part of the workforce, and some families need that 2nd income (either from working at home or outside the home), women have not necessarily put their families/kids in the backburner, they just learned to adjust to having a work life and a family life.
It's especially a huge problem here in Utah with the LDS church saying it's important for women to go to school, but also to stay at home with their kids. So women are supposed to spend thousands of dollars for schooling only to stay home (because most likely they got married and had kids while going to school) and not fulfill the dream of a career they studied for 4-8 years?
It's possible to juggle both, and be happy doing both. I've been doing this "full time work, full time school, full time mom/wife" role for 6 weeks now and it's been doable. Yeah, it's been busy, and sometimes I felt like punching a hole through the wall, but it's fine. I work because we need the income and it's become my social life. I go to school because it's not only my hobby, but it's necessary education for my future. And I'm a mom because... it happened. LOL I like all 3 roles, and I don't need someone telling me I'm going to fail at one of them, because I can do this. Elijah, Jacen, and I are going to make it work for us. Elijah's gonna be a SAHD for 7+ years and he's happy with that decision. We're all happy with it. But for someone to imply that I was going to fail as a mom and a wife because I want to be happy with myself as a doctor???
Nah, I don't think so.

Dizzy, dizzy!

Jacen figured out by himself he can make himself dizzy. Sorry the video is a little dark, but we didn't think of the room lighting :)

Time doesn't fly at regular speed...

... it flies at the speed of SOUND.
I look at Jacen then...
... and I look at him now and I ask myself, "What happened?!" I had this critically jaundiced baby, who slept 22 hrs/day, and ate every 2 hours at night just 17 months ago, and he grew to a kid who is now holding his own popsicles, sleeps 13 hrs/night, and pinches me when he's angry. Can anyone tell me what happened?! Three years ago I could've sworn I was never gonna get pregnant until I was at least 30, now I've got a toddler...
Life throws you curve balls, and they hit ya in the head (most of the time). I don't catch any of them.
Last night when I was tucking Jacen in bed (AKA crib), I was trying to figure out what I'll be doing when he's 5, 10, and 20 years old.
-When he's 5 years old I'll be no where to be found, except in a library somewhere studying.
-When he's 10 years old, I'll still be no where to be found, except in a hospital somewhere, working 100+ hrs/week.
-When he's 20 years old, I'll be home most of the time... but he'll be gone.
After that thought process, it dawned on me: I need to enjoy the time I have with him now, because in just a short few years, I'll be gone, and I won't get to enjoy him being little anymore. But I hope that I can still make the best of the little time I'll have with him as he's growing.
The guilt I feel for going to school is incredibly intense and hovers over me all day, every day. However, I pray that he'll understand that he can do anything he sets his mind to. I pray that he becomes a strong boy who is smart and helpful to everyone around him.

While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about.~Angela Schwindt

And with football season....

... comes a wide variety of feelings in our household. These would include, but are not limited to:
-hate
-excitement
-anger
-anxiousness
-happiness
-annoyance
Can you tell which ones belong to whom?
Why, oh why!!!!

AWESOME video!

Someone at work pointed out this video out to me, and I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!!!! I don't like Taylor Swift's "Love Story" (or Taylor Swift at all), but it's a good mix with Coldplay's "Viva la Vida" which I love.
I thought of my dad when I saw this video. I know he'll love it!
Enjoy!

Update on the Caswell world :)

This will probably be the last post for a while, so I wanted to get everyone updated on what's going on with all of us, since who knows how long until I update this thing again. I may volunteer Elijah for the assignment now, so we'll see :)

ELIJAH'S WORLD: He's working away like always. He sure does have some awesome co-workers. They took the time on wednesday evening after he had left for the day to decorate his cubicle with balloons and confetti for his birthday yesterday. So cute! He's also started playing soccer for an indoor soccer league (Jason Haslam's league), and he's LOVING every minute of it. The downside to it all? Stupid injuries. Sprained thumb, skinned knees and elbows (this is ongoing), and the latest: a sprained ankle. I told him he needed to sit out this next game on Monday but who knows if he will listen *sigh* Also, his CFC website is about to take off, so everyone please make sure to check it out during football season if you're a NCAA College Football fan! (http://www.collegefootballconnection.net/)

SILVIA'S WORLD: My work schedule has finally been adjusted to accommodate my beasty school schedule. I don't think I'll ever work with a better scheduler than Debbie! She is so awesome at the scheduling thing, sometimes I feel guilty asking for days off... Now I work every weekend, which leaves me 5 days of school to do. And yes, I do have school every day, Monday-Friday. I will not have days off until the end of the semester, but it's bitter sweet: at least I don't have to manage being sleep deprived for classes. I haven't found a good routine yet (which I'm desperately looking for!), and I'm sure that as soon as I do, I'll be able to be a little less stressed out. It's hard to manage 15 credits and work full-time. I think that's why I ended up going into the ER last saturday with pain, not to mention all the nausea. All this stress is definitely making me sick.

JACEN'S WORLD: That little stinker is into EVERYTHING. And I mean, EVERYTHING. I tell him not to touch one thing, and he goes to the next forbidden thing. *sigh* He's definitely keeping me busy. He's so stinkin' cute though. It's hard to be mad at him for too long. Some of his latest achievements:

A) Putting himself into timeout.

B) Saying "Coo" for "Cool"

C) Saying "Ook" for "Look"

D) Chasing daddy around the house

E) Calling people on the phone and actually talking to them (in his own baby gibberish, of course)

F) Eats with a spoon- still a little messy, but overall gets the job done.

G) More cuddly than ever.

So there. He's doing a good job. His separation anxiety has toned down considerably in the last month. He went from crying for hours while I was gone to only 2 minutes tops. That is a HUGE deal. I'm glad I don't have to leave feeling bad for whoever is babysitting anymore. YOWZA!

All in all, we're busy, but it's okay. I'm blessed with the opportunity to go to school and not have to pay a single dime for it (including my books, and some leftover money!), and to be able to have a supportive family. That does make a world of difference :) Thanks for everyone who has been sending us positive thoughts. We need every single one of them!

Happy birthday to Elijah!

This year I decided to throw Elijah a surprise birthday party. I don't think he's had one in AGES! Although his birthday isn't until the 27th, I decided to do it yesterday because of school starting. I didn't want him to think I wasn't going to do anything for it!
Our crazy day started at 5:30am, when we decided it was time for me to go to the ER. I had been having pain on my right side of the abdomen for 2 nights, and finally it got severe enough that we thought it may be appendicitis.
After having a CT scan and a pelvic exam (the latter I thought was unnecessary), we considered it to be a mysterious pain and I got discharged around 10am. Even though my blood pressure plummetted (went from 135/71 at arrival to 90/50 at discharge) and nearly passed out a few times, I decided we still needed to do the birthday party, despite the fact I was nauseated. So I got out of bed at 11am and started cleaning the house.... smart, huh? Eventually I went to Baskin Robbins to pick up his A*W*E*S*O*M*E ice cream cake (white cake and cookie dough ice cream). By the time I made it home to send him out of the house, I couldn't even lift a finger... I wanted to go to bed so bad, but bigger plans were in the horizon, and I couldn't cancel the party then since it would start in 15 minutes!
Once all our guests arrived and we waited for Elijah, he finally showed back home at the appointed time. He was so excited to see everyone!

Here are all our guests :)

We had to quickly sing Happy Birthday (which, by the way, I found out that you're not supposed to sing it in public unless you have rights from whoever wrote the song) before the cake would melt. It was soooo yummy! Oh, and you can't really see it in the picture, but Elijah just turned 24 :)

It was a great birthday party and thanks to everyone that showed up! Sorry I was a terrible host.... I was so pooped by the end of the day, but it was worth getting out of bed for it!

Happy 24th Birthday, Elijah!

And 2 more weeks to go...

Summer just flew by like the speed of light. Holy cow! I'm so glad I got to be at home, school free, and be with Jacen- sleep deprived or not, it was still good. I'm a little disappointed at how I didn't accomplish my ultimate goal for the summer, which was to get Jacen somewhat back into the potty training routine. I do have excuses for that:
1) Back in May-June my body was burnt out from all the working and studying and worrying I did in the Spring semester. I felt so awful and out of it, I wasn't feeling good for a whole month. It sucked! At least I pulled a graduation out of it- with honors. I have no idea how that happened.
2) Our vacation to the East Coast definitely threw us off the schedule. Which is good at a certain point, it's nice to break the monotonous routine every once in a while. However, it's not good to do it while you're teaching your kid to go to the bathroom instead of going in their pants!
3) I've steadily gotten worse at the whole "staying-up-after-working-a-12hr-shift-all-night-long" ordeal. I used to be really good at it. But I think that as I get older, my body just decided it wasn't gonna take much more of it. And because I always work "one on, one off, one on, one off", I never recoup. So I'm constantly dragging and napping literally EVERY day, because I either worked the night before, or I work that night. Therefore, I never feel like taking Jacen every hour and putting him on the Froggy (that's his potty's name eheh). I could easily fall asleep on the cold tile and have a great nap that way.
4) The heat in our place is unbearable. Another way to make you really tired, therefore, you do not want to do anything except lay around watching TV.

Which brings me to another point... I think I let Jacen watch way too much TV. For example, he loves Little Einsteins so much that he can say "pat, pat, pat" and "blastoff". Yet he doesn't say "Mom" very often. Hmmm... And I got him addicted to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sesame Street. I feel terribly guilty, but when all you want to do is sleep, and there is no one else to watch your baby 3 days/week, the TV becomes your best friend and an awesome babysitter. I don't have much of a social life, but it's been good spending my somewhat of an awake time with Jacen.

Now my summer is dwindling to an end, and the real deal is about to start. I'm getting very nervous for what's about to begin.
(COMMERCIAL: I promise I won't be depressing, I'll just be "thoughtful" for this post :P)
Pardon the interruption.... as I was saying before.. I'm getting very nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. How's that possible, to feel all of those feelings about one particular matter? Yes, it's about school. And I know you're all probably sick and tired of hearing about it, but I just can't help myself but to wonder how everything will work out. I've just always been so used to working with people who are working towards their Nursing degrees, that I feel like an outsider and more of a loner since I've made the switch. Not to mention my W-E-I-R-D undergrad major!
It's hard to share feelings like these with people who haven't been there before, or who will never be there. Which is why I have been trying to be private about it. And I turned to strangers for help and support, who are going through the same thing. I joined this awesome forum on the internet called MomMD, and I love the support I'm getting. They are all moms who are premed, in med school, residents, or doctors themselves. It's good to know that people can do what I'm trying to do. I mean, some women even have babies while they're in med school! :O I personally find that horrifying, but they can make it work. And if they can make it work at the worst possible time and be happy and content with their decision, I think I can too. I love reading their blogs about their weeks of horrible BioChem blocks and terrible 100-hr weeks as residents. If they can jump through all those hoops and come out on top, while being a mom, a wife, and a friend, I feel empowered to do the same.
I love medicine. Since the day I decided it was the right career for me, I have never gone back. I have even attempted changing my career choice to being a PA or a NP, but it's not satisfying me enough. You know when you feel right about something, and feel wrong about something else? That's how it is for me. And I KNOW it'll be so rough. I'll hardly see my kids growing up, and poor Elijah will be left to care for 2 kids and do all the housework by himself. And who knows if we'll have family within a 100 mile radius. But every doctor that I've talked to, or read about, said they had time to do other things besides studying most of their time. Which brings me hope for the future, knowing that I can still be there- not a whole lot, but I can still show up and be a mom, a wife, and a friend. Please know that I will never abandon any of you. Just because I've got one million things to do, it doesn't mean we can't ever talk on the phone, or you can't come over for a quick drink and a chat ;)
I have 2 more weeks to go until my craziness starts. The clock will start counting down. It was decided today with PreMed Advising at the U that I have two years until the MCAT. Three years until graduation, and 3 months after that... MED SCHOOL. And that's if I can get in: the SCARIEST part of all :)
I better enjoy my last 2 weeks of freedom!

Another IHC rant...

NOTE: Don't get me wrong here, this company has provided me with stable employment (which is hard to find these days) for the last 5 years of my life.
Their benefits are at best mediocre compared to what other employees get from their HR at other companies, and let's not even mention the pay.... It's just plain awful. I could easily go to another hospital chain in the valley and get paid $2-3/hr more for what I do. And the poor RNs? They make next to nothing compared to other RNs elsewhere.
I've just recently began following a blog called "The Placebo Journal Blog: Medical Humor with a Purpose" and I just came across this post written by Theodore Bacharach, MD, which thoroughly sums up my opinion about IHC and their "Not-for-profit" slogan (or whatever you might want to call it):

There are a tremendous number of “organizations” that are “Not For Profit”. These organizations manage to stuff my mailbox each day with requests for funds. The government apparently encourages this by offering them postal rates far below what other hardworking citizens pay. These organizations also are able to own property for which they are tax exempt. I am sure some of these organizations are truly helpful and accomplish many noble deeds, there are however many organizations that have found the “Not For Profit” label a way to avoid taxes and increase revenues and provide their managers with salaries in the millions.
I suggest that even in the case of “Not For Profit “ hospitals this loophole has been very effective and CEO’s are not doing without. In many areas it is interesting to find that the “For Profit “ hospitals provide medical care at costs well below those of their “Not For Profit” competitors.
I suggest that all of us need to reexamine the benefits enjoyed by organizations hiding both their profits (benefits in the form of salaries and bonuses enjoyed by their managers and CEO’s) as well as properties they control, to determine whether their good deeds truly deserve all of the benefits they enjoy.

This quote has IHC plastered all over it, don't you think?
Now does anyone wonder what happens to the money you spend on your $2000/night stay at the hospital? The RN that just took care of you didn't get paid $2000, and the water you used to flush the toilet with didn't cost as much as a can of soda does.
...the only reason why I don't ever leave is because I love my boss, the people that I work with, and the work that I do. I couldn't care less about the rest.

Birthday highlights

Wow... there are no words to describe how my birthday was on Monday! I tear up just thinking about it.
I do have to start by saying how I miss my birthdays from when I was younger... a lot younger.

Every year, either my mom or my aunt would bake me a cake shaped like Minnie Mouse's head or a Strawberry Shortcake cake, amongst different cartoon-ish characters.

I'd get all sorts of brazilian hors d'oeuvres and the sweet little party treats. My whole family would come over for dinner and we'd have so much fun opening presents....
Then adulthood comes.

How is it that we spend so much time as parents planning incredible, top of the notch birthday parties for our kids every year and we don't spend nearly 1/10 of that time for our own? Do we just all of the sudden stop deserving good birthday parties- or birthdays at all? Let's not even talk about presents at this point... For living these many years, we deserve better birthday parties than our kids! We work so hard, we should party just as hard!

A good rule of thumb, they say, is to invite as many people according to how many years old you're turning. So for example: Jacen turned 1 in April, so he had 1 little friend over. When he turns 2, he'll have 2 friends, and so forth. For adult birthday parties, it should be the same: I should've had 23 people over for a birthday party, but I only managed 1 (thanks Nikki!). My calculations may be wrong, but I think I was short 22 people.... and I had no party at all.

Here's how my birthday went:

-At 3am, upon arriving at the nurse's desk to report amount of urine dumped from foleys in 2 different rooms, I get a *breathe in deep* "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SILVIA... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" from Debbie, Heidi, and Pam. I first thought they were suffocating and needing oxygen, but they quickly began singing. That was a close call!

-At 7:30am, I drive home from work in a cloud of exhaustion. I pondered over the dilemma of whether or not I should shower before Jacen wakes up. After debating for some time, I decide it's easier on me to shower before going to bed for 1 hour. This should be the only day of the year Jacen really doesn't need to scream his head off while I'm getting myself cleaned up from a 12 hour shift.

-Get up at 9:30am and cook breakfast for me and Jacen. I didn't think it was possible to cook a whole entire meal and not remember any of it. The rest of the morning was spent somewhere still unknown at this time.

-Go to bed at noon and wake up at 2:30pm, just in time to hurry and get dressed before Nikki comes over with AMAZING chocolate cupcakes, along with two crocheted hand towels to hang on my oven door, courtesy of her mom (Michelle- thanks!). In total, I had 2-3 just that afternoon to give me enough of a sugar boost to hold a meaningful and decent conversation with her.

-At 5:15pm, Elijah comes home. In hopes to be able to hold myself awake enough to enjoy a nice, quiet evening together, I take a 15 minute nap on the couch. My nap turned into "Good night, I'm going to bed" at 5:45pm. And the rest of my birthday was spent joyfully in DreamLand....

I sure hope next year to get a bit more planning done ahead of time in order to have more of a decent birthday... along with 24 other friends :)

Happy (Sleepy) 23rd Birthday to me!

Cousins, water, and a mess!

COUSINS: My cousin Ana, her husband Joseph, and their two kids (Nicholas and Aubrey) came to Utah for a couple of days, and they stopped by to visit. It was so good to see them, and Jacen met his 2nd cousins :)

WATER: Jacen's afraid of water. Well, I should say spraying water, and large bodies of water. We took him to Grandma and Grandpa Glazier's house one afternoon to play in the sprinklers (which, we don't have a luxury of having a yard), and he was absolutely terrified for the water. It probably took him half an hour to detach from me and go with daddy.

Daddy decided it was great to scare the living crap out of the child and send him flying over the water.

But eventually Jacen got the hang of it and enjoyed watching Duckie get soaked... from a distance. He wouldn't come near the water and the bigger the fountain, the more terrified he got. So the water only reached 1/2 foot high in the air for him to play with it.

MESS: This is what happens when the house gets really quiet while your toddler's awake. Good thing the potty wasn't filled, otherwise I would have cursed.

Are you ready for some football?!!

We are proud to announce Elijah is the Editor-in-Chief and co-author of a brand new website called College Football Connection! This website is all about football, which means this post is for none of you, but for your husbands who just won't be quiet about football... Do you ladies realize football season is starting up again in 5 weeks?! The off season went by way too fast... But I savored- and still am savoring- every last minute of the TV NOT being tuned into a football game.
BUT, I am excited about this new gig Elijah and his new buddies started up! It was put together because ESPN is biased, and this one isn't. It's informative and none of the writers favor certain teams (including their own). They will be talking about who's best and who's not according to their stats, and not their personal opinions.
Reason why I post about it is because we need as MANY people as we possibly can to get on the website and check it out! They may be getting an advertising deal with a popular restaurant chain if they get enough traffic on there! So tell all your husbands, friends, and family that are just DYING to get an unbiased opinion about football!
www.collegefootballconnection.net

Ugh! What to do?!

Ok, so I'm alerting everyone this post is probably going to be really boring with no pictures to share, but I'm having a problem figuring stuff out- lately I can't seem to be able to make decisions on my own, fearing I may make bad decisions. So I've been branching out, trying to find support and advice from people who have walked the walk, and talked the talk. Or maybe just some downright good support.
I know I've always said in the past, because of the circumstances we're in, that I wouldn't want to even THINK about having another child until Jacen is at least 5 years old. Financially it's not advisable, and for sanity purposes, it's just too hard on me. Well... I had to think long and hard about this because since my school plans changed, my personal decision of when to have another child had to get up on the pedestal and be analyzed.
If it was up to Elijah, we'd already have 3 kids at this point. LOL No, we'd be pregnant again with our second. And he understands the situation and is gladly waiting until I decide it's time to stop trying NOT to get pregnant. But because he'd say, "Let's have another one", I already know what his decision is, and it doesn't help mine as much.
The original plan was to have a child after I got my bachelor's, just in time to deliver and start medical school. Jacen would be 4-5 years old and everything would be peachy keen. Except I found some flaws to this plan, since it has been changed. Who would want to father a newborn and deal with a 5 year old as a single parent while the wife is out slaving in front of the books? It'd be extremely hard for Elijah.
Here's the time plan I'm having to look at:
A) We either get pregnant now and have our kids 2 years apart. That will give them a chance to be close and the youngest will be about 2 when I start med school, and they won't miss me that much. The problem: who can afford another child at CNA wages?!
B) We get pregnant as soon as I finish my bachelor's (in roughly 2 years). Jacen will be a bit older (3-4 yrs old), and Elijah will be the only one taking care of a newborn, and that's if I get accepted into med school the first time around.
C) Wait until med school and residency are all done, roughly 10 years from now. It'll be great, I'll still be in my early 30's and we'll definitely be able to afford one then.... but poor Jacen! He won't have anyone to play with for 10 years!
So far, I've asked a couple of people at work, and they definitely go with choice A. You can never afford your kids, no matter how much money you make.
Any thoughts? I'm putting up a poll on the right hand side and I'd like some votes, please! And maybe if you wouldn't mind commenting on this post as to why you chose what you did, that would be just fabulous. Thank you!
Oh, and I'm sorry this is so long.

Summer vacation 2009

This year was the first time in 3 1/2 years that we got to leave the state and go on a decent vacation. After finding an AMAZING deal for airfare ($148/person), we traveled to Washington DC for this year's vacation. We only went there because Elijah's dad and step-mom live there, and they were able to accomodate us for the week. It even turned out that his dad got that entire time off work, and his sister Jenn and her husband Jake ended up being there at the same time as well. It was great!Out trip started with a very curious Jacen trying to push buttons on the vending machines in front of our gate, while we waited an excruciating 2 hours to board the plane. When we had gotten to the airport we found out our plane was going to be late, and we were going to miss our plane in Dallas/Ft. Worth, so American Airlines was nice enough to get us a hotel room in Dallas overnight and vouchers for food. Although breaking the trip up in two parts was probably better for Jacen, I hated Texas. Those stupid bugs were too big, not to mention arriving at the wrong terminal and trying to get to the next one took 20 minutes on the shuttle, was just plain awful.

That was Elijah reading Mr. Brown Can Moo to Jacen on the plane. We got lucky and Jacen had his own seat when we hadn't paid for it. He was mostly good on the plane except for when it was his nap time and he was too interested in pushing the light buttons overhead.

Once we got to DC on wednesday afternoon, Terry (Elijah's dad) took us on a driving tour of DC. These pictures aren't great because they were taken from inside a moving vehicle, but they'll do for now. This was the Washington Monument and it was quite tall.

This is the 0.5 second view of the White House. The TV and cameras make it seem so big, but it's actually quite small. I was shocked and somehow disappointed...

And here's the Capitol Building. We took more pictures of it but this was the best one of them all. It was a big building, and much bigger than the White House!

On our way back home from our tour, they took us to see the Washington DC Temple. It was beautiful. It has caused many accidents on the freeway, apparently. It comes out of nowhere after the road curves and it shocks anyone who doesn't know what it is. And it's also a point of reference on the traffic portion of the news in the morning as well. The dots everywhere were from raindrops, just FYI.

On Thursday, we went to the American History Smithsonian. That place was so huge we were only able to tour half of it, and it still took us about 2-3 hrs. This C3PO is the actual costume worn for episode 6. I hate Star Wars, but I thought the costume was cool anyway.

This is a vest used by someone who survived the sinking of the Titanic. That was definitely something worth taking a picture of.

And I just had to take a picture of that coin. They also had a coin that was used here in Utah, called "Utah Mormons". It was worth $20 and it was from 1849.

Our last stop in the museum was to see the original USA flag. They keep it in a dark room chilled to 30F to preserve the fibers and it was so reverent in there. We were not allowed to take pictures or film it because the flash accelerated the deterioration of the flag.

On Saturday, we had yummy BBQ provided by Jake and Terry. We hung out at home and played games, then in the evening we ended up going somewhere nearby to watch a fireworks display. I originally wanted to go to DC and watch the fireworks there, but because they were expecting 1.2 million tourists to visit and were shutting all the streets down, it wouldn't have been a great place to drag Jacen to. So we opted for a fireworks display that was still bigger than anything I've seen here in Utah. I was quite impressed, and the place was packed!

On Sunday, we visited another one of the Smithsonians. This one is outside of DC and it was closer to where we were staying. This is the Air and Space Museum. The museum is placed in a hangar, and it's absolutely MASSIVE. The picture above is of Enterprise, which is a space shuttle. That thing was huge. And you can see the tiles they always talk about falling in space on the right side of the picture.

From all the airplanes in there, this one was the most interesting of them all (besides the SR-71 and the Indiana Jones plane). This is Enola Gay, which was the bomber that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima and killed about 85,000 people. The guide was saying that the atomic bombs dropped there and in Nagazaki still didn't kill as many people as regular bombs did in one night.
I was only interested in this plane because my brother Victor is serving his LDS mission in Hiroshima, Japan, and it was cool to see it.

Monday was our last full day of vacation, and I had requested that we would go to the nearest beach. Jenn and Jake left for home that morning and we left shortly after that. The drive to Ocean City, Maryland was about 4 hrs (45 minutes of it was spent somewhere eating). The beach was wonderful! It was in the low 80's and the breeze was fantastic. It felt so nice to just sit on the sand and enjoy the sun! This picture is of Jacen freaking out about the water. He absolutely HATED it, and bawled every time Elijah would put him down in it. He was so mad at me for letting Elijah put him down in the water, he bit my shoulder, which was the least of my injuries while on vacation. My other one was slipping in the laundry room that was covered 1/2 inch deep in liquid laundry detergent (that was my bad) and hurting my head so bad I was in a haze most of the day and the next day, not to mention I couldn't turn my head without my neck hurting. Then I hurt myself again by slipping and sliding down carpeted stairs while bringing the bigger suitcase down to the main level. OUCH! I've been way clutzy lately, don't know why...

Anyway, shortly after this picture was taken, Jacen decided it was a good time to put a handful of sand in his mouth. So we ended up calling it a day and left before Jacen gagged on sand even more.

Our vacation was awesome and I was so excited we were able to go and relax for a change. We've had such awful schedules and hectic lives in the last 3 years that we needed something before we exploded! I'm ready for the next year now that I start my pre-med classes and things get a bit worse with our schedules, and I'll be glad to take another vacation next year for Elijah's family reunion in Myrtle Beach, SC! But if I can get away with buying tickets to go see my family in Brazil, you better believe we'll be going there instead!