We got a video of him with Elijah's new cell phone, and so we wanted to share with you- especially those who dont see him often.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
No TP when you PP
So I wanted to share Elijah's latest essay he submitted for his English class this past week. I just about died laughing. His teacher said it was hilarious!
-Silvia
People everywhere have suffered a terrible tragedy. It’s that feeling of total loss, or an incomprehensible let down. Imagine speeding through traffic, trying to get home as soon as possible. That early lunch at Taco Bell caught up with you as you finished your day at work. You figured you could wait until you got home to take care of business in a more secluded environment. Something I like to call, “Home Field Advantage”. However, it’s a Friday and traffic is slow, so you start to squirm in your seat and fidget nervously. Perhaps you even turn the radio up, anything to keep your mind off the impending catastrophe that is no longer dormant in your bowels. At last, you arrive home. You rush in, throw your things on the floor and sprint to the toilet. As you sit down, you feel a wave of relief and victory. It is then that you look over, and with a sinking feeling in your heart, realize you are out of toilet paper! This is a little crisis I like to call, “No TP when you PP”
“No TP when you PP” is defined as that situation where nature calls, and you find yourself without the necessary means to freshen up. There are several stages to this crisis; the Search, the Contingency, and finally Future Prevention. To fully understand this crisis you must become familiar with each stage.
After recognizing the fact that the roll is indeed empty, it is time to begin the search. This consists of crawling around the bathroom on your hands and knees, underwear around your ankles, opening every cupboard and drawer, praying to and subsequently cursing the Porcelain God after coming up empty handed.
The next stage is locating a suitable replacement. If you are lucky, and/or smart enough to keep wet wipes on hand, problem solved! Unfortunately for most, this is not the case. It is at this point one is inclined to take a longing look at their bath towel. While this might seem like a comfortable alternative, it is best to ignore the impulse, especially if you’re not living alone. If you are in an empty house you can easily waddle to the next bathroom, or if you have a single bathroom living arrangement you’re sure to have a box of Kleenex, or worst case scenario, paper towels, just ignore the sand paper like feeling. Those that are unfortunate enough to not be alone in this situation are forced to humble themselves, swallow their pride and call for help. People at this stage are prone to feeling embarrassed and helpless. Those that ask politely for assistance and calmly explain the situation are far more likely to receive a workable replacement. Note: It is not uncommon to hear snickering and jokes about your predicament from your assistant. This is a normal and an expected consequence of the crisis.
The final stage is to immediately replace the empty roll. If you are out, go to the nearest convenience store and pick up a few rolls to hold you over until your next visit to the supermarket. This is a critical step, otherwise you will find yourself in a repeat performance of the “No TP when you PP” crisis.
The “No TP when you PP” scenario can be easily avoided by always having a sufficient supply of Charmin on hand. Keep a running inventory on all bathroom tissue. This crisis has affected a countless number of people, and must be taken seriously. However should you run into this problem in a public restroom, you are on your own.
-Silvia
People everywhere have suffered a terrible tragedy. It’s that feeling of total loss, or an incomprehensible let down. Imagine speeding through traffic, trying to get home as soon as possible. That early lunch at Taco Bell caught up with you as you finished your day at work. You figured you could wait until you got home to take care of business in a more secluded environment. Something I like to call, “Home Field Advantage”. However, it’s a Friday and traffic is slow, so you start to squirm in your seat and fidget nervously. Perhaps you even turn the radio up, anything to keep your mind off the impending catastrophe that is no longer dormant in your bowels. At last, you arrive home. You rush in, throw your things on the floor and sprint to the toilet. As you sit down, you feel a wave of relief and victory. It is then that you look over, and with a sinking feeling in your heart, realize you are out of toilet paper! This is a little crisis I like to call, “No TP when you PP”
“No TP when you PP” is defined as that situation where nature calls, and you find yourself without the necessary means to freshen up. There are several stages to this crisis; the Search, the Contingency, and finally Future Prevention. To fully understand this crisis you must become familiar with each stage.
After recognizing the fact that the roll is indeed empty, it is time to begin the search. This consists of crawling around the bathroom on your hands and knees, underwear around your ankles, opening every cupboard and drawer, praying to and subsequently cursing the Porcelain God after coming up empty handed.
The next stage is locating a suitable replacement. If you are lucky, and/or smart enough to keep wet wipes on hand, problem solved! Unfortunately for most, this is not the case. It is at this point one is inclined to take a longing look at their bath towel. While this might seem like a comfortable alternative, it is best to ignore the impulse, especially if you’re not living alone. If you are in an empty house you can easily waddle to the next bathroom, or if you have a single bathroom living arrangement you’re sure to have a box of Kleenex, or worst case scenario, paper towels, just ignore the sand paper like feeling. Those that are unfortunate enough to not be alone in this situation are forced to humble themselves, swallow their pride and call for help. People at this stage are prone to feeling embarrassed and helpless. Those that ask politely for assistance and calmly explain the situation are far more likely to receive a workable replacement. Note: It is not uncommon to hear snickering and jokes about your predicament from your assistant. This is a normal and an expected consequence of the crisis.
The final stage is to immediately replace the empty roll. If you are out, go to the nearest convenience store and pick up a few rolls to hold you over until your next visit to the supermarket. This is a critical step, otherwise you will find yourself in a repeat performance of the “No TP when you PP” crisis.
The “No TP when you PP” scenario can be easily avoided by always having a sufficient supply of Charmin on hand. Keep a running inventory on all bathroom tissue. This crisis has affected a countless number of people, and must be taken seriously. However should you run into this problem in a public restroom, you are on your own.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm 5 months old!
Hello everyone! I'm 5 months old today. I can now roll onto my tummy and back, and I'm almost sitting upstraight (I lean forward and hold myself up with my hands). My friend Devin's mommy, Jennifer, let me borrow Devin's Exer-saucer and I love it! At first I just sat in it and didn't do a whole lot, but now I play with all the toys on it and it's so much fun!
I've learned to giggle more often now, and mommy and daddy try so hard to make me laugh! They say I'm very cute!
-Jacen
Monday, September 8, 2008
RSL game
We went to the RSL game vs. Colorado Rapids last friday. It was fun! My mom got us in for free because she works for the University of Utah, and as long as she works there and RSL is playing there (until their new stadium is done), we can get in for free! It's really nice. Jacen was surprisingly good for us, the only times he got cranky was when he was tired and wanted to nap, and he got startled and cried a couple of times when the fans would cheer all of the sudden. But overall it was great!
-Silvia
-Silvia
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