No, I'm not wondering about the game LIFE. I'm talking about my life. All the parents's lives out there.
What did we do before we had kids? We wasted our time away with our boyfriends/girlfriends, whenever we felt like it. We spent money on stupid things. We partied and played games until 2 am on the weekends. We did whatever we wanted, right? Do you remember those days???
I certainly do. And I miss it. The other day we were at the Real Salt Lake game with some friends of ours and we didn't get home until after 10pm. That's LATE. Jacen was cranky and cried most of the way home. And by 11pm, when he had gotten his bath and had his bottle, and was tucked in bed, asleep, I sat on the couch and thought... "I'm exhausted!" And it's only 11pm on a saturday night! This should only be the BEGINNING of the night!
Elijah and I then decided to catch up on some of our shows from the DVR... by 11:30pm, we were falling asleep. What's this all about?!
This is the HARDEST thing I've had to learn to adapt to after Jacen came along. No more independency. No more staying up late until the wee hours of the night. Everything revolves around Jacen and his schedule. I think my baby blues lasted longer and hit me harder than I thought because of this. And I want my life back, but when do you REALLY get it back? Does it ever come back?
I know that school and work for both me and Elijah has really put a damper on our lives because we must stick to a strict schedule in order to survive every day. If it wasn't for this strictness, our lives would be a total mess (more than they are right now!)
BUT, please don't get me wrong: having Jacen was the greatest miracle that has ever happened to me (and the BIGGEST surprise of all!). I'm not saying that we don't like having him around, and that he ruined it for us... I'm just saying: does our real life, and our real identities EVER come back?
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5 comments:
Yes it comes back when they are grown up and moved out :) But even then how much are they still going to depend on you while they are learning to be independent. I guess that's why our parents would always say how easy we would have it when we were growing up:) I totally know the exhaustion by 11pm thing. My husband and I used to stay up until 4am and be just fine until our kids came along.
I can totally sympathize 100%. I had severe postpartum depression that lasted until Ryan was 6 months old. I LONGED for my life back. I resented Ryan, breastfeeding, and anything that robbed me of my independence. It was awful. There are still days that I wish that Mike and I could go and do as we please. Yes, we love Ryan dearly as well and waited a LONG time to be blessed with him. You're prefectly normal!! Hang in there. Adjusting to parenthood is still new for us. After all, it's only been a year! I remember the nights that Mike and I would go out to dinner and then stay out till 11:00 or so, come home and watch TV till 1 AM and wake up the next morning whenever we wanted. I miss those days too.
Silvia, this is something that scares me a bit (alot) about having kids, but as far as I can tell life never goes back to normal...until maybe your 60 yrs old with more time to relax with Elijah, but even then you'll still be worried about Jacen:) Actually I'm in a class right now and we just talked about why a man's satisfaction for their life goes up as they grow older and a woman's satisfaction for life declines as they grow older. Not trying to be a bummer, but it's just something weird about life that I found interesting.
Yes, being a parent is a hard thing. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the days of doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But isn't that sort of what we're here to do-- Learn and grow from our experiences? I think the biggest thing I have learned about being a mother is how to put Devin first in my life, how to put my selfish wants aside. To me, it's a sacrifice that's well worth it and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I was just thinking this the other day. I see my husband every day but for some reason I miss him sometimes.We just never have time together anymore! After I had August and she started to get a little older I was able to have more of a life but I've had to start over again, which don't get me wrong, I am very excited about! I don't know if you ever get back to that kind of life or if you just adapt and totally forget about that old life!;) I just wish for some sleep!! I haven't slept the same since I had August which means I haven't slept the same since I was a teenager! They're worth it, though!!
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